From El Chapo to the chapel

One woman’s journey to a better life started with coming back to faith.

Matthew 19:26: “Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God everything is possible.”

Rosa Marin came to the United States by herself at age 17 from El Salvador, seeking better opportunities for her and her family. Extreme poverty and domestic violence were the reasons Marin migrated. She was determined to succeed.

When Marin came to America, she had dedicated her life to her Lord Jesus Christ, volunteered as a youth minister and walked the Christian Walk.

Around 2005, Marin said she started neglecting her relationship with God. She replaced prayer time and Bible studies with working overtime and chasing money.

It is during this time that Marin became attracted to a woman and became romantically involved with her. After approximately eight months in a volatile relationship, Marin’s outlook shattered when her partner cheated on her.

“Life took an unexpected turn,” Marin said, “and due to my internal insecurities, jealousy, codependency and selfishness, I attempted to take the life of the person who took my love away.”

Marin came to prison at age 22, hopeless, lonely, desperate and destitute. At that time, she believed the only way to survive was to do whatever it took to provide for herself.

“Freedom was not an option,” Marin said. “I thought I was destined to die in prison.”

Not only was she in need of financial support, but love, acceptance and a sense of belonging. It was then she was introduced to a few peers who took her “under their wing.” Within a year, she was learning how drug operations worked. Soon, Marin decided to separate and do it on her own.

“The experience gave me an extreme amount of power,” Marin said “a power and control I had never had before. In an instant, I was liked, loved, accepted and respected — things I wanted to feel all my life. Plus, the financial gain was extremely appealing and attractive.”

Marin thought she was only going to get into drug sales to meet her needs. Little did she know she was becoming trapped in an addiction: the addiction of making money.

“That addiction controlled me,” Marin said. “I compromised many of my values: honesty, family, freedom, integrity [and] spirituality.”

In January of 2017, Marin was taken to Administrative Segregation (Ad-Seg) for an investigation on a long list of charges: shot caller, extortion, drug dealing, sales and distribution. She was transferred to the California Institution for Women (CIW) so she could not interfere with the investigation.

Soon after her transfer, Marin said things started happening that confirmed the power of God manifesting in her life. Corrections officers raided the whole Ad-Seg unit, which made it harder to continue with her drug operations. At that moment, Marin found herself sitting alone in a cell with just her thoughts for company.

Marin said her frustration grew. When she finally received her TV, she started browsing through the channels, and some of the Christian channels drew her attention. Marin said that by tuning into these spiritual messages, her conscience started to wake up.

Suddenly, she started reflecting on her choices and found herself thinking, “Why am I in a lifestyle I never knew before? Why did I become someone I didn’t want to be?”

“As the days went by,” Marin said, “the desire to change my life grew in me.”

Alone in a cell, Marin realized that she was only OK when she was surrounded by people praising her and showering her with love. Now that they were not there, she felt empty.

Time spent alone with God helped Marin’s empathy grow, she said. She would sit and ruminate about her direct victims — Jovel and Carmen — and countless others affected by her poor decisions. Now that Marin was locked away from prison fame, false loyalty, drugs and money, with no one and nothing to distract her thoughts, she started thinking about the things that matter.

On March 14, 2017, at 1 a.m., Marin turned on the TV. There was a pastor from L.A. preaching.

“The words he was speaking started piercing my heart,” Marin said. “I felt full of regret and hurt. For the first time in my life, I realized that by selling drugs, I was slowly killing others… I was slowly killing myself.”

Marin said made a deal with the Lord and this time it was not a drug deal. She got on her knees and said, “Dear God, if you become the provider and supplier of my needs, I will flush down the toilet the rest of the drugs that I have put away at CCWF, and I will never sell again. God, give me a second chance.”

“I experienced something indescribable, something beyond awakening,” Marin said.

Five months later, all charges against her were dropped. In June 2017, Marin was transferred back to CCWF and let out of Ad-Seg to the general population. The day Marin was let out, she vividly remembers going to the restroom and flushing every crumb of dope down the toilet.

Not only that, but God spoke to her heart and said, “Daughter, I need you to stop collecting and pardon all drug debts. This profit did not come from me. I am going to teach you how to live by faith. I will be your provider.” Marin obeyed.

That same night, as people on the yard heard she was back, she recalled one particular person coming up to her and saying, “Friend, I got your $9,000 in my dad’s house. Can I get some more?”

Marin responded, “Thank you, friend, but you can keep your money. I have given my life to Jesus, and I will no longer touch drug money.”

She looked at Marin with confusion. People were in disbelief with her new self, and she knew it was going to take quite some time for people to see her in a different light.

The following night, Marin was out on the yard with her guitar, inviting people to come to Bible study with her to worship God. She preached seven nights a week. Many people started coming. Some were there to worship, many others out of curiosity.

The gratitude and sense of freedom Marin experiences today are priceless, she said. She lives and breathes the Lord. She serves the same population she once took advantage of.

Today, Marin still has huge crowds around her that want something she has. But that something is not dope, it’s hope.

“Transformation is possible. No matter how deep you have fallen, as long as you are breathing, there is still hope,” Marin said.