Healing Hugs
As a current resident at Central California Women’s Facility (CCWF), I can say with confidence that we are an institution filled with individuals who have faced emotional and mental challenges and/ or have survived some form of abuse. This makes it very difficult for most of us to trust others. So, finding an outlet within these walls towards healing is like a miracle. Thankfully, CCWF is focused on providing individuals multiple opportunities to rehabilitating themselves.
Being incarcerated for almost three decades has afforded me the chance to grow through what I go through. While working towards healing from all the trauma I have faced, I learned that I am a hugger. One outlet for healing is hugs. Healing the hearts of the broken and lost souls can be accomplished with a hug.
I love to give hugs to my peers as I greet them. A hug is an act of kindness that many women do without even knowing why. We might hug to show affection, something we lacked or never had, or to trigger positive memories.
One day, I went to give an old-timer a hug, and when we were done embracing, she stated,“Girl, you are one of very few that I give a hug to nowadays.”
I smiled, feeling special because I thought she valued me that much in her life that I deserved her hugs. I thanked her and cracked a joke, saying, “Girl, we’ve been hugging since we’ve been in diapers.”
Then she said something that made me look at things in a totally different way today.
“Maima, it doesn’t matter these days if we’ve been knowing each other for so long,” she said. “These females are calling PREA to eliminate you just for living in a room they want for themselves.”
This woke a fear in me that I couldn’t shake. For my own safety and security, I am forced to reconsider hugging.
The Prison Rape Elimination Act (PREA) process was created to ensure incarcerated individuals are not being sexually harassed, abused or violated by staff members or other incarcerated people. It also was intended to ensure incarcerated individuals are treated with dignity and respect. It’s important because if a person is free from sexual abuse, they are able to focus on healing.
But the process has vulnerabilities. My fear is if when I compassionately hug any of my peers, one of them could falsely claim that I assaulted them, resulting in my placement in the Restricted Housing Unit (RHU) pending investigation. For those individuals that choose to weaponize the PREA process, there are no repercussions in place. This is the federal procedure. The institution must follow the federal law even if they know a false allegation is being made. The law is the law, and we’ll figure out the rest as we go. What the hell, right?
According to a study published in the research journal “Comprehensive Psychoneuroendocrinology,” hugging releases oxytocin, a hormone that promotes bonding and positive feelings. Other studies have also shown that hugs can lower blood pressure, reduce the levels of the stress hormone cortisol in our bodies and release tension. Hugs are important in prison, even if they are underrated. Living in a community full of people who have been incarcerated for committing crimes and breaking the law is challenging, and in challenging times, it’s important for us to feel closer to each other, rather than more distant or isolated.
Many individuals incarcerated at CCWF are either victims of rape, molestation, or some sort of sexual abuse. While healing through therapeutic groups such as Healing Trauma, Beyond Incarceration program, etc., individuals learn how to feel safe to hug as an intimate gesture without feeling uncomfortable. It has become contagious in a sort of way.
We need to feel safe hugging a person in need of a hug, showing empathy, support, and understanding without becoming a victim. We need to keep PREA from being utilized for a bad cause. How do we fix it? What can we do to gain the integrity of the PREA process back for those who truly need it?
Hopefully in the future, the “Prison Rape Elimination Act” will be amended to displace and rehouse all parties involved. This could decrease the abuse of the PREA process immensely, if not eliminate it altogether.
Restoring trust in our community is important and we need as many acts of kindness in here as possible. Because healing the hearts of the broken and lost souls can be done with a simple hug.
