A Mother’s Day to Embrace

Even when mothers can’t be with their children, CCWF residents find ways to celebrate the holiday.

Brunch, gift cards, and a whole lot of mimosas are usual fare on Mother’s Day. However, as one of many incarcerated mothers, separated from their families, the holiday looks and feels different.

As we collectively mother our children over the phone, intimate moments are filled with complications for those mothering behind bars in Central California Women’s Facility (CCWF) residents like Jane Laut.

“I’m blessed that my son and I have a good relationship,” Laut said. “Even though we talk at least twåo times a week on the phone, he visits me and he keeps me involved in his life.”

Laut added that although it’s hard not to be with her son, they continue to support each other to stay “strong and positive.”

CCWF residents also find support through inside community activities. And making the rounds to see friends on Mother’s Day exists even in prison. Many residents come together through meals, gift exchanging, sports, arts and crafts, and sharing what they miss about their children within their social circles. This sharing allows a mother to let go of some of the pain of being away from home.

Sunrise Honor Dorm resident Isabel Rosas has been making her Mother’s Day tamales for over a decade because it is a time to have joy, sorrow and some great food all wrapped in a dayroom setting. Tamales, chicken balls, and, of course, cakes of all delectable flavors tempt the palates of mothers gathering together. Opening handmade gifts and sharing a tear or three with those closest helps the day pass and the night come quicker to unleash those hard-hitting truths of another day away from their precious children.

“Mother’s Day is one of the hardest days in prison, not only for myself, but for my three children and six grandkids,” resident Milani Larrea said.

On the outside, Larrea said she would take her six grandchildren on a weekend trip or to brunch, so they can drive her “wonderfully crazy.”

But this year, her daughter and 7-year-old granddaughter were chosen for the Get on the Bus program, so they will be coming to her to celebrate.

Get on the Bus is a free family reunification program that delivers family members to CCWF for Mother’s Day celebrations.

There is a quiet dignity in keeping emotions intact during the holidays and Mother’s Day is probably the best example of that. Besides being a time when many families will gather and celebrate the matriarch of their family, it is also a time to reflect on how painful these separations can be. Excitement runs deep for Michelle Jones when she explains how she interacts with her beloved sons.

“Each meal turns into competitive dialect, where my sons are trading obscure facts about sports and put their own spin on the team they wish to measure above others,” Jones said.

But it’s not all laughter, she added.

“With healing also comes tears. With effort, I try to bring light to each of their questions and hope to their uncertainties. Together we brainstorm on ideas as they voice their struggles,” Jones said. “Being a mother has made me the happiest; being a mother who lost her freedom has made it the hardest.”

Having children live their lives sans mama is a travesty for sure, yet for resident Chace Ward there is hope for parenting to prevail even through the anguish of distance.

There is a lot to unpack with teenagers so having 18-year-old twin daughters and a 13-year-old son gives Ward a reason to be thankful.

“Even though these circumstances are painful and heart-wrenching for my children and I, I feel overwhelmingly blessed to be so involved and still provide the support needed,” Ward said.

Any way you look at it, the razor wire should never define how well a mother loves her child.