Felon’s Alphabet: N is for nexus

Since this is the Felon’s Alphabet and our focus is all things carceral or carceral adjacent, it makes sense that we explore the interconnected issues that led to our life crimes. 

Websters Dictionary defines nexus as “a connection, tie or link.” 

“N” is for nexus. 

A nexus is as simple as behaving in a manner that is similar to the thought processes that led you to commit your life crime. That means something as seemingly insignificant as stealing rolls of bags from your job site, and stealing food from the kitchen if you are a kitchen worker could be issues that are a part of your nexus. And yes, these are seemingly petty crimes at best, however, the thinking that allowed the act to occur comes from a criminogenic place. A place of, “I do want I want because I want to, without caring whether or not it is the right thing to do.” 

So, a nexus to robbery might be any criminal thinking type behavior, such as receiving stolen property, fencing stolen property, breaking and entering, and even hanging with past known associates. If the life crime was a DUI fatality then one obvious nexus is a substance use disorder, impulsivity, and even a disregard for the safety of others. A nexus to murder might be any violence endorsing behavior such as assault, battery, and even the above-mentioned robbery. If the life crime was murder for profit, then it stands to reason a nexus could be fraud, extortion, or even, believe it or not, petty theft. The link there is the illegal acquisition of money. 

All criminogenic factors need to be addressed by identifying from whence these negative traits originated and how they then transmuted into the actual life crime. Knowing the origin story of your character defects can aid you in recognizing when you are traversing in terrain adjacent to your life crime factors. Know your character defects and your causative factors. Know the difference between the two. Shy away from any activity that bumps up against them. 

One needs to be aware that crimes do not occur in a vacuum, that for one crime to occur, the individual has to not only endorse criminogenic attitudes but also grant themselves small selfish permissions that eventually lead to more serious crimes. 

And while it may be impossible to eradicate criminal thoughts completely, be vigilant as these errant thoughts come up that we are entirely responsible for the behaviors that follow all thoughts. 

This awareness of what a nexus is, and how it applies to those of us here doing time, is vital to one’s rehabilitative process. Contrary to what court documents may suggest, a life crime does not just happen in one day, or in one moment. A life crime happens incrementally, in a slow gradual decline that shifts you from decent to deranged, from law abiding citizen to feral creature. Mercifully, rehabilitation also happens incrementally, in a similar scaffolding ascent that restores you from feral creature back to human being. 

Nexus can also be looked at from a different angle, one that is apropos to incarcerated individuals. In prison, a lot of people often struggle with the tension between acknowledging the harm they caused and recognizing the harm they themselves have experienced. Many were victims themselves long before they were perpetrators. Many have never had the space to say, “This hurt me” without being dismissed or blamed. 

Prison is the nexus where accountability meets self-compassion. Transformation only happens when a person can hold both these truths at once: “I am responsible for my actions and I am more than the worst thing I have ever done.”