Why every prison needs more virtual funeral attendance

I was anticipating a visit from my father on a Sunday in October and called him Wednesday to confirm. He laughed and joked about my niece finally getting her driver’s license and learning to drive.

Ending the call with a laugh, I didn’t know that would be that last time I’d hear his voice. I got a message the following day that my father was rushed to the hospital where he would ultimately take his final breath just 10 days later.

I went through the worst days of my life being in prison and mourning the death of my father. Although friends surrounded me, they could not understand the enormity of the grief and heartache I was going through. I thought I had experienced a broken heart before but I had no idea. I navigated my surroundings in a fog of disbelief.

I have Life Without the Possibility of Parole (LWOP) so therefore my custody level will always be a Medium A. Even though some incarcerated people are eligible, because of my custody level, I will never qualify to attend a funeral in person.

According to Supplement 62070 in the Department Operations Manual (DOM), a Temporary Community Leave (TCL) may not be permitted when the incarcerated person is serving a life sentence without the possibility of parole or the sentence includes a mandatory minimum.

In addition to meeting the eligibility criteria, an incarcerated person must find two officers willing to transport them to and from the funeral on their regular scheduled day off, and pay the correctional officers their hourly salary plus the costs of all transportation and meals.

Lack of funds to pay for these expenses will result in denial of temporary release. It is difficult or impossible for most people to get a temporary leave.

I began to spiral down and lost all strength to survive. I had the hardest time coping alone and grieving by myself. I resented my family because they all got the opportunity to say good-bye but I did not. I was in denial and stayed there for months, being numb.

My emotional response was for good reason. Christy Denckla, a research associate at the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health and a clinical psychologist specializing in grief, explained on NPR’s All Things Considered that funerals and the rituals that go along with mourning are fundamental to how we mourn, grieve, and reinforce social ties. They are important to expanding the social safety net in times of our loss and vulnerability.

“They reflect what it means for us to be human and for us to love and for us to connect,” she said.

Is there any hope for healthier mourning for people with high custody status? One of the few silver linings of the COVID-19 pandemic is that another option is now available.

During the pandemic, all visiting was limited to video calls. The director of the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation also issued a memorandum allowing all incarcerated individuals to attend the funeral of their loved ones via video call platform WEBEX. This allowed for the first time any individual to attend a funeral despite their custody level or financial status.

Facility D resident Arsenia Hernandez tragically lost her brother during the COVID-19 pandemic and was able to attend the funeral via WEBEX.

“Being able to attend my brother’s funeral with my mom and sister made me feel like I was actually getting to participate in his mourning,” Hernandez said.

In a 2021 meta-analysis study from the Department of Psychiatry, University of Manitoba, Canada, researchers found that, “virtual attendance provided a way of being able to mark someone’s death, particularly when the alternative was not attending whatsoever.”

Attending virtually helped those participating to overcome the barriers of distance, health risks, and the gathering restrictions imposed. For that reason, every correctional facility should make this service more widely available.

After the strict restrictions brought on by COVID-19, the technology that remained in place has taken over. Board of Parole Hearings, court attendance, doctor’s appointments, and many events that take place in the institution can now be attended virtually by family members and friends.

Since this new technology has become standard, implementing it for funerals would not be a hardship. Allowing anyone to attend services would give incarcerated people the opportunity to participate and receive some form of closure. This would also relieve the unnecessary burden placed on the family members.

Having a loved one pass away is one of the hardest experiences any family must face. The family members often feel guilt that the incarcerated person cannot attend the funeral and it becomes another added layer to the grief they are facing not having them there.